still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[june72]

NM
I have been following along and keep wondering if your hubby is the only one you have ever dated or loved. I get the vibe that he is. Am I right?

I just have to ask you. Are you actions deep down based out of fear? Fear of being a single mom, fear of moving on, fear of having this man out of your life?

If it is fear, then of course that is the wrong motivator. Can you really, really deep down examine yourself and answer candidly on this?

I just keep wondering why you want him back at this point. That you deserve better than this, why would you settle for him at this point? I mean you could be searching for someone now that would LOVE to be a full-time dad. I mean he basically choice this OW OVER his own son. What type of integrity is that? You can excuse it all away with love chemicals, addiction, etc. When it comes down to it- a human is still responsible for the actions they take.

And yes, most affairs burn out but many people will stick in the affair since they have made their choice and are too embarrassed or too prideful, humiliated to admit they are wrong. They would rather live in the mistake than take the brave step forward of admitting how they screwed up.

Of course these are just my view points doesn't mean I am right...

Oh yeah, he is so the king cake eater- I just want to smack that frosting covered face-lol! I think he is super, super content with the status quo and will never file as long as things are going the way they are.

Someday, he will look back at the life he could have lead and be so very, very remorseful.

I think it's good that you pursued this path to bring him closer but now I think you have to create a crisis to shake up his world. Filling for separation and getting as much NC in as possible is going to give him pause. Deciding to move on will really rattle him. I am definitely going with my gut on this.


We all know he has been really enjoying his time together with you. I mean isn't that that the dream of many WA spouses. That the betrayed spouses will eventually come around and be great friends with them? A cozy little triangle- he, you and OW?

I really think that if you were out of his life he would actually miss you. Would he be strong enough to walk away from the mess he made? I am not sure... I am kind of pessimistic...

Thinking you can outlast OW, not so sure. Did you read the GQ interview with John Edward mistress- these wackos are content to get scraps. I mean why else would they be mistresses....

Again, IMO, best