This was not my first experience with infidelity and not the last either. My co-worker at work in the cubicle next to me is a repeat offender.. I have already given him the lecture but he refuses to hear it.. he feels entitled. He's not originally from north america and in his culture the males are generally encouraged to cheat...
He does maintain that anyone who cheats on his sister he will beat senseless... ya I am fully aware of the hippocracy.
I have been out to lunch with him several times watching him work on a waitress or a hostess... he is VERY good and charming... I don't go to lunch with him anymore as a result.
I told him outright I don't want him doing anything in front of me and that if I saw anything I WOULD for his OWN good and for the good of his KIDS I would EXPOSE to his wife...
I told him he doesn't just have to work around his wife's back he has to work around me too... I told him I have too much respect for family to watch him trash his... I have MET his wife, I told him I will NOT lie to her passively or actively about infidelity. I have told him lying FOR him is NOT helping him...
The interesting thing is, he doesn't argue the point, and he can be very argumentative.. I honeslty think some of what I told him did sink in.. because he wouldn't challenge it.. he just walked away.
I have experience with a friend of mine who was engaged when I was only 18 - he was 20. His best friend he found out was sleeping with his fiancee for three months behind his back.
In that case his best friend sat down with him at my place in priavte and told him that not only was his engagemetn was off but that OM himself was engaged to his fiancee in secret.
They married a few months later... ALL my friends SHUT OUT the OM and HIS new WIFE... Including myself.. we all shut out the guy for hurting my friend like that.. he never left my house for three weeks.. he never left our guest room he was given teh news in for THREE DAYS.
That affair that turned into a marraige lasted less than a year.. they broke up and never spoke again after their very speedy and embarassing divorce - none of his friends went to his wedding desipte the invitations he had the nerve to send out.
