Please let differing opinions continue. Obviously there is more than one way to reconcile; some may take longer than others. But to be honest, I can only count like 5 people who are giving advice that HAVE reconciled (I know others are out there but where?)! It would be helpful if people put info in their signatures.
NOT TO DISCOUNT ADVICE from those (of us) who haven't reconciled yet because we all know about hindsight.
Yes Newmama, that was a large part of my challenge to Lotus' first post... just because someone hasn't reconcilled yet does not invalidate their opinion, or make it of any lesser value.
I would in fact argue that they have MORE experience than perhaps someone who only battled an affair for a shorter time.
You will learn a LOT more about affair-busting battling a very stubborn and painful affair that lasts a year than you will battling an affair where the WS surrenders and returns inside of a weekend.
I have a lot of respect for those who battle affairs for weeks or months, it takes a LOT of GUTS to do that... I really don't care if they haven't reconciled yet, they have tested a large variety of approaches and have a lot to say about those experiences.. its great stuff.
