...I follow the teachings of the Retrouvaille program. The program is not based on theory, psychology, or books. It is a program developed and led by people who have figured out a method that works...led by people who have been through times of trouble and have solved their problems without the theories that you are so fond of.
Lotus,
I've been through the Retrouvaille program with my wife, two years ago. It's very good; my parents have facilitated both it and Marriage Encounter weekends. It is NOT, however, intended for marriages where one (or both) of the spouses are having an active affair. They tell you that, in fact, when you register (or at least they're supposed to), and they usually refuse to accept you for a weekend until the affair is ended, and the couple is committed to trying to work on the marriage, unencumbered.
From the program's own website:
Before the couple can start the program, however, it's essential that both spouses be willing to work on saving the marriage. If one partner is unwilling to face the issues or is in denial, then he or she isn't ready to commit to Retrouvaille. Additionally, if there is substance abuse or infidelity, these behaviors must stop before the program is entered.
It's a wonderful program, but it doesn't really apply to adultery situations.
Puppy
ok, so, mystery solved in my view.
We have one person advocating an approach to affair-busting - largely based on Retrouvaille, where according to puppy's thorough research here, the original designers of the approach do not advocate its use during an affair
Mystery solved
That pretty much puts an end to this debate... well done Detective
