My advice is not based on nothing. If you had read my posts, you would know that I follow the teachings of the Retrouvaille program. The program is not based on theory, psychology, or books. It is a program developed and led by people who have figured out a method that works, and they help couples by leading them through a process that has worked for thousands of people around the world. Though I am not a trained leader, I have been through the program just as many other people on this board have. The program is led by people who have been through times of trouble and have solved their problems without the theories that you are so fond of.
Lotus,
I've been through the Retrouvaille program with my wife, two years ago. It's very good; my parents have facilitated both it and Marriage Encounter weekends. It is NOT, however, intended for marriages where one (or both) of the spouses are having an active affair. They tell you that, in fact, when you register (or at least they're supposed to), and they usually refuse to accept you for a weekend until the affair is ended, and the couple is committed to trying to work on the marriage, unencumbered.
From the program's own website:
Before the couple can start the program, however, it's essential that both spouses be willing to work on saving the marriage. If one partner is unwilling to face the issues or is in denial, then he or she isn't ready to commit to Retrouvaille. Additionally, if there is substance abuse or infidelity, these behaviors must stop before the program is entered.
