thanks so much for your support. I cannot believe how crappy I feel about this. I am talking with the banks. It may be that I cannot mortgage enough to pay him his $64K. That would make the decision easy.
I am meeting with an accountant friend Friday morning to go over cash flow. The last thing I want is to be strapped down to a big house with no extra $ or time to go out and find myself that fine new boyfriend!
Then on Saturday another friend is coming over to do big Pro/Con lists with me. She will insist that I keep the emotional separate from the financial. She will fight me tooth and nail if I try to make an emotional decision that has a negative financial affect on me.
Update: I emailed X: thanks for your proposal. I need some time to consider it. I will have an answer for you early next week.
He wrote this back:
Avermont, thank you for your consideration. Would it be possible to ask for a smoke signal in advance of next week with regards to your thoughts? Even If it's not definitive one way or another - it's challenging to not converse about questions, comments, or concerns w/ this.
Thank you, X
WTF? this is the third time he has asked to meet and discuss the house.
What I WANT to reply is:
"I didn't get any smoke signals that you were unhappy with the R. Not a good feeling, is it? And yes, it is challenging when someone is making decisions that affect your life and you don't know anything about it....isn't it?"
I feel like this is the third, and very sincere, request to meet and talk about "this" which is--I guess?--how do we deal with the banks? what???
This is a much more civil tone than his first formal .pdf: accept this offer and move out.
I would like to keep a civil tone going. I don't want to be the a**h**e h now, here.
It also FREAKS me out that he would give up on the house so easily. Suddenly today I decided that it meant he and GF have found a beautiful new house, they are decorating the nursery and printing out the wedding invitations. The grief hit hard--his giving up the house so easy--just more evidence of how easily/quickly/completely he has moved on?
Not that I didn't know that. I know that. But it hits hard.
I feel like it would be the right thing to do to agree to meet with him. How can I ask him what, exactly, he wants to discuss? I would prefer to meet with a counselor present--just someone to listen and help the conversation. Not for couples therapy.
Advice?
It feels terrible every way. Ignore his polite request to meet? meet, and what for?
How can he give up the house so easily?
Why do I feel so freaking guilty about "getting" the house--assuming I can afford it?
