Well, no time like the present to put myself to the test-
W got home @ 5:30 from concert. She has v'ball game at 7:30. When she got home, she was drunk. Wasted. I was laying on floor playing with kids and she came in and stuck her tongue down my throat and told me to come tuck her in. She said how drunk she was and how much she missed me. I followed her to the bedroom and she laid down and told me to wake her in an hour. Then she grabbed my belt and started undoing it and told me she was sooo horny. We haven't ml in two months mind you. Without going into too much detail, I let her service me and she said it was her turn and she wanted to.....I said you need some rest if you're going to coach tonight and if you're that horny now, maybe you'll be that horny when you sober up. I don't have any interest in just f****** my wife again. Been there, done that. I left the room and closed the door. I woke her up in an hour and of course, she didn't move. Here's where I really messed up, I KNOW. I woke her up one more time and told her that was it, I wasn't trying again. She got up and brushed her teeth and off she went. I should have let her sleep and miss the game. On the other hand, maybe someone will notice she is still drunk and she will have to answer for her actions. I really do hope someone says something. This is a big step for me. I miss ml but it hasn't made things better before. It's time to be a big boy now. I know I didn't handle it exactly like Sandi and others would have liked but it was a step for me in the right direction.
I understand that not being there for her and not being her babysitter does not mean I am not still there for the kids. It means she has to choose what is more important to her.
It's slowly sinking in. I am mad but in control, not terrified of what she may say or do. It's a better place to be.
