Why do I feel like I have these moments of clarity...followed by uncertainty???
I guess I am reacting out of emotion right now. It was just such an awful weekend. Where was my H who said he called it off with OW and was going to commit to our M? He hasn't done much of anything...when do I stop waiting for him to provide me with some real indication that he wants to really work at this. He is still ambivalent in his actions and sometimes his words. Am I supposed to just accept the fact that right now he is dealing with the loss of his A?
Over the weekend..I didn't feel a connection with him at all. He was at the house..but not emotionally here. He hasn't called to see how the flooding is even though he knew it was wearing me out. I know this may be may ego speaking..but I don't want to let him make the final decision in our M. I just don't think he is going to give this the effort that it needs.
Regarding MC..like I mentioned before..he was on board but I decided to cancel and go alone..H said lets go next week if you arent ready...so I scheduled the MC for this week..my H says now he isn't ready. He seems so angry at me... he doesn't look at me like a man that wants his M. I feel like he still blames me for all of this..I know it is crazy..but this is the way he acts. I don't sense much remorse from him.
I do have my appt with the attorney tomorrow night. I am thinking that I fill out everything I need to fill out and then ask her to hold off? I am so confused..
I know there are issues here that I need to face with my H..but I need a fully active and willing participant. Once he is thru his withdrawal..will I see this man? Will he ever get thru withdrawal with her still in his office?
