But more to the point, what you are implying here is that your experience is worth more than theirs because you have already reached reconcilliation. I have several problems with this :
a. First, its insulting. I would respectfully ask you to apologize to the members of this forum for suggesting that your experience is worth more than their educated experience and that of the authors they have read. This is just downright silly, but more to the point, its offensive.
You are misinterpreting. When I said
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Have those people successfully navigated their own marital problems?
I meant that I would assume that the un-named posters I was referring to, must have tried their own methods at home. Did the methods work for them? If the methods are so good that others should use them, wouldn't they work for the person making the recommendation?
I was not saying that I am superior or more knowledgeable than others. I was just saying that I have tried my own method and found it to useful. That is the reason that I recommend my approach to marital rebuilding, which I will call the "catch more flies with honey" approach.
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Sorry Lotus, but this is just silly, it appears you are basing your challenges on absolutely nothing other than your personal preferences. Logic is the way to combat an affair, and your preferences for timidity do not fall in line with published expert advice on this subject at all. Why would you make a post advocating to dismiss professional expert advice on a topic and have others follow your preferences? THAT is free advice worth what's been paid for it.
My advice is not based on nothing. If you had read my posts, you would know that I follow the teachings of the Retrouvaille program. The program is not based on theory, psychology, or books. It is a program developed and led by people who have figured out a method that works, and they help couples by leading them through a process that has worked for thousands of people around the world. Though I am not a trained leader, I have been through the program just as many other people on this board have. The program is led by people who have been through times of trouble and have solved their problems without the theories that you are so fond of.
As for my advice to weigh carefully any advice given before using it because the individual will live with the consequences. I stand by that advice. I have seen posts where you have advocated that one spouse take the children away without telling the other spouse where, throw the spouses things out on the lawn, change the locks on a jointly owned home, and other similarly illegal things that could cause trouble in the long run. Good advice should first do no harm. Before people rush off and take advice that could land them in hot water, they should take the time to think things through.
