Engage. Yeah, change for yourself and all that. But realize that part of changing is engaging with the people you love.

Kids and jobs suck up time and it's all too easy to put your real life on the back burner. You just don't sound like you're plugged into the emotional world of your M.

Find a babysitter and go out, just to get out. I wouldn't suggest a romantic getaway right now but a movie now and again might help. Don't pursue, show you're interested. Do it now before you're truly on the outside looking in.

~Mark

Me: 38
W: 34
Together: 9yrs
1st M: may '03
1st D: april '08
1st bomb: june '08
remarried: oct '08
2nd bomb: aug '09 --(W asked for D one week into 3 mo. trial separation which was meant to save our M)