IDU, a book that has been recommended in this forum a lot is

http://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-NUTs-Relationship-Manual/dp/0979054400

I haven't read it, but I read one that was more oriented towards women (how to be attractive AND assertive) and it helped me a lot with understanding what I project as a woman.

me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4
current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp
.: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.