In the MLC section MWD also suggests you allow your partner to experiment with other women.
I am sorry but I just found that part offensive.
I love the text, but some things in it just don't work for affairs...
I don't doubt she has dealt with infidelity in her line of work, but its not her specialty...
There are family therapits out there who have specifically researched this subject and offer a LOT of GOOD advice and have the statistics to prove their claims...
Shirley Glass has over twenty years of research to back up her book Not Just Friends... an excellent book specifically written on the subject of infidelity. The only weak area of that text is its limited treatment on how to combat the infidelity. She discusses at length how it happens and how to handle the aftermath and reconcilliation, but she doens't do much to address spouses who refuse to end their affair after the intervention phase.
This seems to be the large part of the content of many of the threads on the infidelity forum is AFTER the confrontation and before reconcilliation.
Michele only offers as was mentioned a small bite of info.. putting spyware on the PC, etc but certainly an entire book can and has been written on the topic. Penny Tuppy and one of her mentors - Harley - have written extensively about combatting affairs in the household.
Outshinging an opponent doesn't work all that well in practice from what I am reading here... in most cases the abandoned souse is fortunate if their wayward spouse even glances at them once or twice a week.
Affairs are addictions, and should be dealt with that way. Most addictions are dealt with throgh confrontation, exposure, intervention, and ultimately protection if they refuse to end their destructive behaviuor.
This is very much contrary to MWD's small piece on infidelity. Indeed MWD has not commented on infidelity as an addiction at all. She may not even consider it to BE an addictiion at all.
There are many FT's who DO, which is counter to MWD's apparent thoughts on the subject.
This is the key point in this whole thread of import - there ARE other ways to combat an affair othr than MWD and the DR process - are those alternate ways of combatting affairs welcome in this forum?
Given Michele advocates the "Do What Works" and the 180.. these imply researching anything that may end the affair and bring your spouse back home.
To refuse outside research on the subject would be counter to the MWD method in fact. MWD at one point in MWD does point out "read as much as you can on the subject"
I think that's more or less what is being done here.. sharing findings and helping visitors apply them.
