Is detachment right in this case? It seems like detachment is what got us into this! I feel like I need to prove to her that I CAN be her "bucket filler". I can make her my priority, I can be the person she was missing and needing so much that she turned to someone else.
How should I be?
It is great that you want to work on yourself and the relationship. However, do not make changes solely for her benefit; that is codependent behavior, and will only make your problems worse. I suppose I should throw in a mention of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.
Detachment is not necessarily about distancing yourself or cutting off contact. There is an excellent article at Livestrong.com about what detachment is and why it is important.
If you find yourself in the same heated arguments over and over again, you might want to read about emotional reactivity and how it can poison a relationship.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
