Lots of interesting things happened on trip down to KY. today
H and I were talking about BB and M in general. H commented on how he could understand how sometimes you feel like you try everything you possibly can and eventually leave an M because you feel you have no other choice. H then made references to his first 2 M's.
I then voiced the opinion that even though a person FEELS like they are trying that a lot of times that perception is solely their own. The LBS may not see it that way, that the WAS keeps their trying all to themselves or they do it in such a way that it is not understood by the LBS
H said that he understood that NOW but that in his attempts to reconcile w his first two W's they told him in no uncertain terms that reconciliation was out of the question. ( 1st W told children not to call him "daddy" anymore and I don't think wanted him to see the children anymore:( 2nd W left H and moved in w OM she was having an A with).
I asked H if he felt that he had "tried and tried" to work on us and was getting nowhere...hence the sitch we ended up in. H said "no, it wasn't like that. I just felt like WE were getting stale" NOW comes the good part! :grin H then said " I take the BLAME for all of that NOW."
THAT is a HUGE admission on H's part! That just may be the closest thing I will ever get to an admission of feeling some sense of guilt about what happened. It isn't much to go on, granted, but it took a great deal of pride swallowing for H to admit.
The whole convo was actually pretty upbeat and matter-of-fact. We reminisced about the "old days" and H commented on how he still finds the way we found each other and got back together again (in the beginning) pretty amazing and crazy I told him I agreed and that it had to be admitted that , as crazy as it was it had to be "meant to be" H laughed and said "yes, it was!" with a big grin on his face
I was so upbeat by all of this that I couldn't even get upset when H got a speeding ticket today...LOL
We had a great day and when we went to the PX H found the WEDDING RINGS he's been wanting to look at He really liked them (they are Irish Kladaugh "faith" rings ) and is going to special order them this weekend since they didn't have his size
I'm getting my X-mas present!!
Wedding ring, horse and a deep fat frier...I don't think it gets any better then that!!
Wait...yes it can...an H who loves me and an M that I can now truly believe has been BUSTED!!
The icing on the cake...H is on his way home from work...FOR THE NIGHT!
Hugz to all! Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
