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Mila Offline OP
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OldPilot I have been reading more

Re: Resource treads "Why They Run"

My WH was abandoned by his father - when his mom was pregnant with him. His father remarried and left the country. They somehow reconnected 15 years later. WH said that he can't love him like a father. His mom never got over the anger and bitterness and was depressed all her life, she never remarried, lived alone until she passed away. WH grew-up without any male influence in his life.

So he really fits the MLC profile


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
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Mila Offline OP
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Jack, cyclone, Grace, Drew, kissak. Thanks for your advice. I'm beginning to see your point. I had a bit of "not right" feeling in my gut when talking with OW's H, but I was ignoring it. In some ways it feels good to talk to someone who really knows and to get "fresh" information from the "other side", but also I feel that I'm betraying my WH (as weird as that may sound) by sharing info about him.

Originally Posted By: kissak
Mila,
My H got really upset with me for talking to his OW's H behind her back. Of course later I found out that her H was exagerating alot of what he told me.

Just my opinion. Grace is right though...there isnt much point in talking to him.


Yes my husband gets upset when something I say gets back to him through OW and you are right, OW's H does exaggerate; I guess to drive his point in better. My WH told me that OW's H takes everything I tell him and uses it against him to paint him like a looser and nobody to OW.

So I guess this may be working against me.....


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,478
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God forbid that a lying, cheating, disrespectful, cruel WAS should "get mad" just because you don't cooperate with their disgusting behavior.

Knowledge is power. Keep talking to the ow h and don't feel bad about "snooping." You guys own a business together and you are being strung along until your h and his whore can get THEIR ducks in a row.

Pissing him off should be the least of your concerns.

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The easy path is seldom the correct path Mila.

The H of the OW would sell you down the river in a second if it meant that he stood a shot with his wife.

And you and OM's husband likely seem petty, controlling and conniving to the 'lovebirds'.

The friend of my enemy...is my enemy too.

He might be the nicest guy in the world...but he has an agenda.
And he thinks your a tool to be used in meeting his agenda.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Or you could listen to Kimmie. : )

Just figure out where a poster's advice is coming from.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Bitterville.


Don't stand still.
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...glad you're back...pot stirrer.

No enough drama on the day time soaps?



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Mila Offline OP
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Kimmie, when I'm angry I feel just as you do. But I need to look at the situation from the "outside". I should be thinking about "the big picture", what do I want to accomplish and would this approach give me that?


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,605
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Mila Offline OP
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I really like your wisdom Jack. You are right on every single point. Thanks... you are my hero smile


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 4,034
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LOL!

Ahhh... I don't know? Not really trying to stir, I just can't help it sometimes. I have a smile on my face As The World Turns. smile I'm really starting to appreciate these Days of Our Lives.



Don't stand still.
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