Will I ever be forgiven???

[dday101798]

Simply, she couldn't handle it anymore. No-one else was believing the lies anymore and she certainly could not continue to lie and re-write history to herself, hence self-validation. Everything wrong with the M was all said and done, laid to rest. But she still couldn't stop thinking about it and it was driving her insane, with a need to face her demons.

I guess I should stress again, that 'look', the gleam in her eyes that even through the A, when we could get a long for a day or so, was there. We still felt each other in that repsect. And NEVER once did I get the "I love you but I'm not in love with you speech", quite the contrary.

Collectively, we caused each other a great deal pain over the years. It just turned in to a stabbing fest as she put it to see who could out-do the other, obviously, she won.

EDIT- And in re-reading the first paragraph of this post, I can only imagine the pain she felt when her own children at such young ages scorned her to quit lying.