help with a plan

[flowmom]

For the record......you are not stupid! You allowed yourself to fall into the same trap that so many of us do....."married with children". This has all been a whammy for you and you have to relearn some things and most of all....you need to kind of reinvent yourself. Make it exciting to yourself by setting goals to achieve.

Be thinking about some boundaries for your W, and if you aren't sure what or how to apply them....read Coach's thread about boundaries.

Practice acting self-confident. Think positive and talk positive to yourself (instead of feeling"stupid", etc.). Get a new look and some new activities. Pay a little special attention to yourself and do something that makes your ego feel better.

So true and such good advice Sandi. It's true that chicks dig confident. Thinking about your sitch and your W is not going to help you feel confident. Taking care of yourself, having fun, pursuing goals...those will help you feel confident. It's good that you can acknowledge your fear. I have the same fears about boundary-setting. I think a lot of it is because of some irrational beliefs that I have about our R:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1950915#Post1950915
I think if I can work on those beliefs, it will help me to address the underlying causes of the fear. I know that my actions are the most important thing now...and I know that I can't act based on fear, no matter what happens with my sitch.