Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

SOmething I don't understand and I dont like are those days where X is on my mind. HATE that!! AND it makes me MAD that I can't communicate at ALL with him without my mind doing what it does.

What got me here this time???

D13 is in a play. They are selling these advertisements called "SHOUT OUTS" where you buy a space and then say something to them.. it is typed in the play bill and TADA the DRAMA club makes money and the kid is happy.

The play is next week. I had done it for her.. but her dad didn't know about it cause I hadn't told him. Yesterday I got an email from the person doing them .. reminding us that other family members could do it. WELL - THE RIGHT THING to do is to let him know about it.. UGH! JUST HATE COMMUNICATIING with him.. So I sent him an email.. SHORT and to the point. "this is something for daughter.. if you want to do it email this lady.. etc etc." and that was that.. He of course emaisl back a "thank you .. hope you are having a great week.." makes me wanna puke!!

Anyway - it stirs up thought in me.. I KNOW STUPID RIGHT??!! But it does... just dont want to think about him anymore!!! If he were dead then I wouldnt have to do the right thing OVER AND OVER!!! I woudln't have to think about him...

This weekend he chose NOT to answer his phone when his sister called... so she calls my son - who then calls me. Her daughter (my niece) was stranded at the airport!! Of coruse I haven't talked to her (the sister-in-law) in 3 years... so she doesn't call me directly.. BUT STILL!! HE DOESNT answer cause he is a JERK... but I GO and "SAVE TEH DAY" and picked up my niece.

Yes it was a blessing.. love her to death..

Didn't get a thank you for his sister. Did get one from his mom... (funny how they all talk!!) BUT the little brother - the jerk x husband... the freakin' father of my kids.. AHHHHHHHHGHGHGHGH what an A**

SO all of this to say if I didn't have to have ANY CONNECTION to him I could forget about him!!

I HATE DIVORCE it never ends they are always somewhere.. in your head, in your life -even if not physically.

Just frustrated