I don't know what you mean to use them to control him? I have not been controlling since he left us in Dec, I have only been respectful and understanding...when I should be a raging lunatic of a wife... !!! But I am not...
I don't control him. Up until this past week, I have handled my D7 on my own, with the heartache, tears etc..and it just got to a point that she said something to him on the phone and it went from there.
I have been keeping it all FROM HIM to allow HIM HIS SPACE and TIME to go through this MLC or whatever and I have handled everything....while he has DONE NOTHING for the children.
I love him, but I get it, he doesnt love me anymore, whatever... I can only let go of him and pray for him and I would much rather him be healed of this pain than for him to come back to me...
That, however, does not mean I am o.k. with him bringing other woman around my children. As close as we were as a family and inseparable as we were, my children are too young and they would not understand this.
To this day I still have issues with my own mother who introduced me to her then boyfriend she left my father for and I was 5 and my sister was 7. I am almost 40 and still remember it like it was yesterday. My Father, however, only allowed us to meet my now stepparent after 2 years of seeing her and he knew he would marry her before he introduced us to her, I was then 7 and my sister 9.
I have been there. So has he.... His mother married 5 times and he had 6 Dads by the time he was a teenager...
