She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[FindingMyVoice]

I'm truly glad what I said helped. Please, please don't beat yourself up for 'checking out' from time to time from your wife. That's a terrible illness, and sometimes the only thing family members can do is to get some distance. Personally, I think you intuitively knew that you had to sometimes so you could regain some strength again for your yourself and your kids.

I think family members end up feeling responsible for their ill loved one's emotional state; at least that's how I felt. It's so draining because you have to be so hyper-vigilant, right? Trying to always be ready to jump in at a moment's notice to reassure, listen, provide care? And with kids, it must have been even tougher. You've likely often taken on the lions' share of day-to-day care to help protect them; and to work extra hard to ensure they don't feel responsible or blamed. But look at how well your kids interact - your efforts have obviously made a difference.

The whole thing physically and mentally taxes your system to the breaking point, because you're always running on adrenalin, ready to quickly take action. I know, I SO hear you that you didn't know how it (i'm assuming you meant your 'distant' times?) was affecting your wife. Again, I think some distance is your body and mind's intuitive attempt to restore yourself and regain balance - families SO underestimate the stress they're under to manage situations like this. So please, you have to forgive yourself. You're likely exhausted, drained and heartbroken, and you're doing your very best in a very difficult situation.

Hugs from me! Take care of yourself, and keep posting,
PrairieGirl