How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

Lotus,
I hold no grudge toward my W. I understand my past actions and slander would had drove any woman into another. The fact she did get emotionally attached to the OM does now make it that much harder to reconcile with her.

I take bits and pieces of advice provided on the message board because in our situation, going any colder or becoming any more detached will cause more problems.

Ways I do not pressure or pursuit:
- say ILY
- talk about the future
- talk about our R
- say I changed or things are better so ask for another chance
- ask her to stay

I show through my actions and pleasantness I have changed and I do love her and hopefully she realizes I am not being manipulative and decides to give our R another try.

I admit that some advice has created more distance between her and I, in the past b4 all this happened I was not very affectionate and now that this is happening I am still not affectionate because of the fear of pushing her away more. Part of me wants to do it because it would be a 180 but oyher part is afraid to do so because i of the unknown of her reactions.