Thank you for stopping by Bill

Well, last night H and I talked about OW some. His company decided to have the Supervisors' X-mas party early this year. H said it was the same weekend that he had "drill" (Army Reserves). He said he already told everyone that we weren't going to it, that he didn't feel like coming home and jumping through hoops to get ready...and he felt it was probably best to avoid putting me and OW in the same room together. He didn't want to hear me get all pissy about OW making "goo-goo" eyes at him etc and causing a scene

I didn't like the way he said that. I told him that I felt he was being awfully defensive of HER when it should be ME that he should be defending H said he just wanted to avoid any problems. I told him that any problems that would've arose would not have been on my part...I went last year and played nice even though I knew what was going on. I said if he wanted to go that I had no difficulties in us going and would just act "as if" I also said that the problem would be OW getting drunk and obnoxious and getting in MY face, not the other way around. I'm a much better person then that.

H still said he didn't want to go...he knew that OW could get loopy and stupid and since it is a drill weekend he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself anyway.

For me it is a matter of pride I guess. I don't want OW or anyone to think they got the best of me and thus that is why H and I didn't show at the party. For H it is fear I suppose. H has seen me lose my temper and go NUCLEAR. He doesn't want a "scene" to happen. We tried to talk it through...I'm still not sure if we did or not. It didn't devolve into an argument which is good.

H did say amidst all of this that he still avoids OW completely and that he doesn't see himself ever cheating on me again.

H has been fairly preoccupied this week...excitement over being in the Reserves finally, making sure uniforms and paperwork are in order, working without a day off for the past 2 weeks. I have been doing my best to deal with it...tried to snatch a bit of cuddle time this morning but that didn't happen I ended up putting H right back to sleep again! H accused me of "being up his @$$" again I didn't let it get to me too bad though. I waited until he was wide awake for about an hour or so and then apologized for it seeming that way...then I told him that I was just trying to sneak in a little bit of quality time since he has been so busy lately. That seemed to smoothe things over

A big positive earlier this week. I had an appointment with my E doctor and H went in with me! This is the first he has gone in with me in almost 2 years. I didn't ask him to either. H ASKED if I minded if he came in and then he asked if it was ok for him to come with me when I actually spoke to the doctor ( I figured he'd just sit in the waiting room) This was a big help for me because the doc always asks how long my seizures are and what are they like...I don't have a clue myself, I just pick myself up off the ground afterwards, but H was able to tell the doc about them. Since H could the doc decided to increase my meds again and order some tests done that were apparently over-due. I tend to down-play my E as much as possible...I guess I was doing so with the doc too H might have picked up on that?? I was just happy that he went in with me I thanked him for it too

We had a really good night last night I gave H a lot of time to himself while I went digging through boxes we have never unpacked looking for stuff. H played on his X-box and ironed his uniform (I DON"T iron his uniforms...lol) and ended up being in really good spirits by the time I finally gave up and sat down. He then snuggled up to me and told me how much he appreciated me, that my clam chowder was excellent and I did a fantastic job cutting his hair this afternoon. He said it felt good to cuddle up with me...especially since I was so warm

Too bad he didn't get any sleep though H will be REALLY grumpy by the time he gets home tonight...oh well, I'll just hold on to the good from last night and it will see me through

Zoo

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm." - Mahatma Gandhi