Divorced, Dating, and Parenting

[~Sol]

I am monologuing here:

Currently, what I hear from my ex when things don't go her way is this: "If you do this or don't do that I will take you to court".

Empty leg to stand on, especially if I know that she probably does not have the legal ground, cannot afford an atty or pay court costs or afford to lose time away from work. If we need to go back into court for something, fine. I am getting amused at her empty threats, and that's all they are. It's her defense mechanism I suppose, a way to get me to react. Anyways, what I see in my daughter is that she is happy when both parents are happy - and NOT fighting or bickering. Yeah, I get extremely angry when my X rears her ugly head when she wants to threaten me, and the court argument is her current strategy. But there is also what my D will go through if we get into another legal battle again. My D's education is not at risk. My D has all she needs, she is well taken care of, and I am there to help her with her homework - actually doing the math problems and working out the other subjects with her - her mom doesn't do that, she's not academically inclined like I am. So I'm the parent that does more for my D's education - and I know that can add some weight in court. The one thing that I see that benefits my D the most is that I have time for her, and so does her mom. Would I like to put my D in a private school? Yes I would, just can't afford it, but public schools also have its own rewards. From experience, I have seen kids in private schools behave just as badly as those in public schools - it's not the schools, its the kids and the dynamics of their relationships (or lack of) with their parents. I know my D will excel in any school she attends, and I know the benefits that a gifted school or a private school may provide, but are we all going to benefit? Me, my D, her mom? It's kinda hard to answer that since we are limited on our resources - my job barely allows me the time to take care of my D during school hours, and don't get me started on the pay! What I see is that my D is doing really well, and her teachers are noticing. It's her mom that needs convincing when a good opportunity arises for my D. She currently is taking self defense classes (karate), and I enjoy paying for that and taking her every week. It does wonders for kid's self esteem. Then there are summer programs and middle school activities I will support her on, and be at her games (she wants to play softball).

I believe in this: In order to have a functioning and healthy relationship with our kids and X's as a whole, we sometimes need to compromise and weight the pros and the cons.