Eric, you are right I cannot deny it. I don't want to justify her actions and I guess I can't help doing it. I really don't know what she wants. Other than being a crappy person right now. I'm trying to focus on me but it is hard. I am backsliding right now I guess. I really need to read DB and read the parts on backsliding. I am trying to keep my expectations low but again that is so hard when I see her everyday. All i want to do is grab her and hug her and smell her hair. It drives me nuts. I really feel uncomfortable around my parents and I know it makes them worry but being at their house for an extended amount of time makes me feel like they are looking at me through a microscope. I wish I had the ability to just bust out of this low, I was feeling so good last week and I honestly don't know why I was, especially with how I feel right now. I wish doing things kept my mind off of things but really all it does is make me think of her more and how much I want to be with her. I want her to wake the f up and stop acting so different.
God give me patience and ability to follow your will, not mine. Send your spirit to fill my heart and shine through me. Make me a better person.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
