We aren't rebuilding a marriage lotus, we are PROTECTING a marriage, THAT is done on other cornerstones.
Your idea of building a marriage is a worthwhile one, but it is akin to decorating a home while someone is taking a sledgehammer to the outside walls... its POINTLESS and INEFFECTIVE when affairs are taking place.
If you don't like the advice most commonly used to protect marriages from an affair I would suggest you visit other forums that do not have affairs are their primary focus. You aren't going to read much about home decorating here... this is a serious forum with third parties ACTIVELY and DELIBERATELY trying to DERAIL a marriage in secret...
No ONE HERE is grudeholding or reccomending absolute silence. We DO reccomend active and forceful precautions take place to protect the marriage from further third party damage... this is not "grudge-holding".. its common sense.
NO one is recommending OIN treat his wife like a CHILD either. I "cannot believe" you keep SKIMMING posts and have the audacity to criticize those posts that you haven't even read carefully. Before you CRITICIZE something specific you had better QUOTE it and stop using clumsy paraphrases that bypass the original intention of the author.. its rude to say the least... and misinformative to the reader. Your own comments are welcome here, but when you decide to ATTACK other's comments you risk confusing the readers... so if you DO attack someone's post - QUOTE THEM PROPERLY and DO NOT MISREPRESENT others' posts.
I apologize but this is NOT the first time you have misrepresented what I and others have posted. I am getting very frustrated with you lack of care in reading what's written.
You don't seem to have any background or understanding in the published material out there for combating infidelity in the home either.
I suggest you start to read infidelity experts like Tuppy, Harley, and Glass, THEY know how to fight affairs, and they don't do it with candy and roses.
And your comments "she may not have exercised adequate caution" is a bit timid to say the least... MAY NOT? She was seeing him in SECRET and OVERTLY LYING to her HUSBAND about it.. all you can say is "she may not have exercised adequate caution?"
And regarding "But he did not want to get romantically involved with her, so it is over"...
YOU have NO IDEA what is intentions were... or ARE. Furthermore you have no IDEA it is OVER EITHER... just because your spouse says its over does NOT IN ANY UNIVERSE mean its OVER. There are COUNTLESS posts here from spouses who "trusted" their partners when they heard "it's over" and ended up BURNED for it...
Please STOP encouraging abandoned spouses to be naeive about affairs, it is NOT CONSTRUCTIVE...you are putting marriages at RISK of further third party damage.
I have yet to see you offer advice that is in line with any of the material from published infidelity experts. The advice we offer is from people in the field if infidelity who deal with it full time every day and have done for many years.
