flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

I feel weird about my hope for reconciliation. Objectively, I don't see a justification for my hope. When I look at the sitches of folks in piecing, I see key differences...elements that were present in the early months that just aren't present here. I'm not seeing any reaching out from my WAH, any crack in the wall before me, any indication of uncertainty or confusion (about our M), any indication that he misses me/us. After two and a half months I think I should have seen some tiny sign that the door isn't closed. All I am seeing is H "managing" me...using his intimate knowledge of me to avoid pissing me off in the separation and D proceedings. And babysteps towards cooperating as coparents...as long as I follow H's agenda. But I can see that it's over for him. My guess is that the timeline that I assume he has will require me to address the D pretty soon. And that's really going to suck.