38 years & I need physical connection with my wife

[Young at Heart]

Young At Heart:
Anyway, I am based out of the Los Angeles area and was wondering how you found your sex therapist - or if your therapist could recommend someone out here.

Thanks.

First, I focused on what I thought would be best for my wife and myself, which was a board certified sex therapist and not a general marriage counselor. My wife and I loved each other, we just had relationship problems that were focused on sex and so a sex therapist seemed to be the right choice. That narrowed the field a lot.

I then focused on two styles of marriage therapy that are out there and wanted a sex therapist who also did marriage counseling in one of these styles. Then I used the internet and searched for Board certified sex therapists and went to their individual sites and read what they had to say about themselves.

In the beginning, my list had mostly board registered sex therapists who were also either trained in the Gottman Institute methods or were trained in the Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight) emotionally focused therapy. The reason for my choice of these two styles of training was that they have higher than average success rates in keeping marriages together. You might also see if there are any recommendations that the MWD folks have in the LA area.

Also in my search I found a local woman naturpathic doctor who specialized in women with low libido and who was a board certified sex therapist. When I found her, I made sure that this was the doctor that my wife saw to find out if there were any medical problems. The woman put my wife though a battery of medical tests and blood tests for which I am truly greatful.

This was how I created the list I researched and was read to present to my wife. Luckily for me, the board certified sex therapist and naturpathic doctor that I specializes in women with low libido's made a recommendation of two sex therapists to my wife. My wife got her back up and insisted that we use one of those two. I looked over the two and opted for the lady who had the national reputation, a PHD, and had published all kinds of great articles, some of which I read while checking her out. I didn't get to use my list and so I just got lucky.

My wife and I were doing mostly 90 minute therapy sessions and the rate was about $145/hr or $217 per 90 minute session. It wasn't covered by our insurance, but was worth every penney. We also did a Gottman Institute workshop on the Art and Science of Love, which was a little under $800 for the two of us, but involved a solid 16 hours (two full 8-hr days, Saturday & Sunday) of lectures and exercises, with things to do at home later. My wife has also had some private sex therapy sessions with her natuepathic doctor that were most helpful in helping her with some "body self-image" and "anger at me" issues.

Even though it was expensive, the cost of a divorce and two divorce attorneys would have far overshadowed what we spent, plus I got the woman I loved back (I hope/I think).

Our joint sex therapist/marriage counselor did practice for a while in the general LA area and so I would be willing to ask her for a reference and send you a private mail message through this forum (to protect everyone's privacy), but your private mail option appears to be disabled.

Let me know how you would like me to proceed to get you the information. If you want to establish a one-time only gmail or yahoo.mail account and have me email you the information from a one-time email account, I can do that as well.

Good luck to you and your wife.