Learning to be happy alone

[newmama]

Once we knew I was pregnant, he started pulling back. I figured he just needed time to deal with the pregnancy, so I gave him space. Perhaps I was in denial because now that I look back, I see that he was dropping hints about what he was thinking. I just didn't get it. We (or I) thought he was depressed, maybe bipolar, and having difficulty dealing with the pregnancy. So we got him in to see a therapist.

This was EXACTLY how my WH acted when we found out I was pregnant on Halloween 08! And then turns out there was an OW. I really hoped it was because he was mentally ill or going through an MLC (but now from the boards I see that those things are just as tough as an A)

Anway sounds like in your case, your H has an attachment disorder? Might be freaked out about being a dad.

You sound so calm with a baby due in a couple of months! I will share some weird silver linings to not being together with your H during your baby's initial few months of life:

1)you don't have to worry about giving your H attention
2)you don't have to worry about giving your H sex when you are sleep deprived, covered in breastmilk and spit up, and trying to just deal
3)you don't have to care about anything else except you and baby

BUT my WH did visit daily and would spend time helping to comfort and feed the baby. This did help.

However, if your H isn't around or jumps ship, please do your best to get someone to help relieve you from time to time so you can have a break. The first 3 months are super hard. I felt lonely so much of the time.

It gets so much better by age 5-6 months and is getting fun right now (8 months)!

Will you have financial support? Will you be staying home or working? Do you have family helping you?