Is it an emotonal affair?

[Wedge5]

Here is my story: About a month ago, my wife and I had a discussion where she told me that she wasn’t sure that she had anything left, that she didn’t know if there were still any feelings left. That was one of my worst days. Since then, I have gotten the Divorce Remedy and implemented several changes based on what I read. The changes seem to be working, she texted me today saying that she wants to work on our marriage.

The problem is that I discovered that she has been talking to an old boyfriend. The cell phone bill came in the mail, and the usage was higher than it had ever been. I asked her about it, and she said that she had been talking to one of her girlfriends a lot. Something didn’t feel right in my gut, so I went online and pulled the phone record of numbers called and received. The number that was called most frequently was not her girl friends phone number. I asked her who she was calling, and she said, “do you really want me to answer that?” I said yes, she said that she was talking to one of her friends from high school, another female friend. I asked why she said what she had said about really wanting to know. She told me that it was because the woman is still friends with her ex. I pressed the issue and she finally admitted that it was her ex that she was calling. She said that when she talked to him, it really “clicked”. She told me that “there is nothing going on.” The calls were all done during the day, in the evenings that I was working, and while I was away on business. She said that there is nothing going on, and they are only friends. That he was helping her deal with her father’s death, because he has been through the same thing. She went home to deal with some issues, and to visit the cemetery, and it is the same town where the ex lives. We live 400 miles from her family. One evening I texted her to see what she was doing, and she told me, sleeping. I told her good night and went to bed. The next morning, I checked the phone records and discovered that she had been talking to the guy when I texted, and they talked for 3 hours that night. The calls have been for anywhere between 30 minutes to 2 hours to 3 hours. I asked her if they talked about anything else besides her dad’s death, and she said that they talked about all kinds of things. I confronted her about the call, and she said, “Are you checking up on me?” Since then, there has not been another call to him. I suspect that she is using a home phone, texting, and Internet chatting with him. I have no way to prove those things.

Some other info about this situation: She found this guy on a social networking site, and has been checking it several times a day, and is one of the first things that she does when she gets home from work. I just discovered the term “emotional affair” and I sent her an email with some links to articles describing emotional affairs. She replied to not send her emails with “psychoanalytical email links, they piss me off.”

What I would like to know, is she having an emotional affair? What should I do about it? I don’t think that we can move on until she cuts off contact with this guy. Any advice is greatly appreciated.