I am touched by all the people who came to post today.
Truly...you are wonderful people.
L came out around 4:15PM...we had 10 minutes to sign, but, too many issues, so, the judge gave us until Thursday. The stip should be signed then, thus, I will be divorced (well, final decree will be pending)
Holidays will be rotated. I get 2 dinners mid week. Every other weekend. 3 non consec weeks summer. 60/40 house my favor. STBXW gets a percentage of my practice, small and CS. They requested an annual 1040 until my income reaches X dollars, capped, for CS which was OK with me since STBXW waives maintenance. Stips on selling the house.
Until Thursday we will haggle over splitting the HELOC. On Thursday, in open court, I must renounce my claim of Cruel and Inhuman and STBXW must do the same (the wonderful State of NY). In court, she must say she begged me for sex for 12 months and I didn't give it to her. I must do the same. Now THAT will be a scene.
So...all....I will be divorced on Thursday. At which time I will close this thread up.
After four years, I still can't conceive of never seeing my kids during the week at nights..to tuck in and say good night....to talk to....to tell stories. I know that will happen on the weekends, but, I guess you sorta deny this in your mind until it happens.
There is no choice on this. STBXW and I must be apart and we can saw the kids in two.
In May, 2006, my STBXW told me that "she loved me but wanted the romance back." She wasn't kidding. LOLOL.
Strength.....and honor.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB I know you have have a long, hard 4 years, but as someone else wisely pointed out, it was 4 years in the house with your kids, and that is priceless. Your D went from 2-6 with you there. That is crucial, because if you had been gone when she was 2 she would have no memory of ever having lived with you. I know that going forward away from your kids will be difficult, but staying with your X would have been more difficult. Now you will have hte freedom to continue the loving relationship with the kids withut her negative impact. Blessings as you go forward.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Strength and honor indeed. You have had to endure a living hell.
So it sounds like you will do ok financially. Losing the time with the kids hurts a lot, but bear in mind that you will gain it back as time progresses.
I am concerned that you still have to coparent with a prima donna azzhole. And there is some sucker guy out there that may incur her rath again.
What a day.. what a long four years. What a relief, what a joy, what a sadness.
I feel great anger at how the laws and guidelines of the state of NY create such toxic environments in divorcing homes, making a bad situation worse, evolving to toxic insanity and inequitable results.
Thank goodness you're the man and father you are. Strength, honor. It's nice being the fun parent. Being a safe harbor, a constant in your children's lives is priceless. You are the father and the daddy. Your children know, love and depend on you. And they're at the age where even if you cannot tuck them in every night, you can be involved in their sports, after school activities, as much as your time allows.
It takes time, but things end up working. You've had the strong positive attitude through the duration of this process. Thank goodness it only lasted as long as a single presidential term. What a soft relief it will be to live a life based in reality, rather than jockeying for position while watching your back.
Children need both parents. And you're the type of dad many children dream of. Thank you for sharing your perseverance, nobility and beauty of the soul. You're a good guy.
Frank, I am glad to read that it practically over. Maybe you can make your declarations in court with a silly voice, since the whole thing is just ridiculous. Having it close to over, I am happy for.
But I am also angry. I wish that you had more time with the kids, too. You will have to just take advantage of the phone, maybe even Skype, every night. No one wrote up how often you can speak with them, go to their events, etc.
I will miss you if you don't stay in touch, but also can understand. Are you on the alt?
