Good luck with the coach. Your H needs to make some grown up decisions. We all know that he suffers from depression and some other kind of mood/personality disorder..but does he truly know this? If he doesn't, he will not seek help. Sometimes that takes hitting rock bottom.
My H has had the same moodiness/depression since he was a teenager...he never grew out of it or got any help for it..Now he is 38 years old and behaving like he did as a teenager..only worse. He still is looking for other people to blame for the way he is feeling. People that feel like this lash out at everyone around them.
I have a very close friend that suffers from depression..for years. it is interesting to witness her relationship with her H. Her H is wonderful..makes her breakfast every morning..coffee..cleans..laundry etc etc. She will always find something to complain about. She has only been married 1 1/2 years and has kicked her H out 3 times and is in MC since the 1 year mark. She is not capable of seeing the good in anything...no matter what her H does...it is not good enough..and will most likely never be good enough. At some level she realizes this..but she cannot help herself. She has been on and off medication for quite some time. Her H is in a lose/lose situation. He treats her great- she complains..he treats her bad- she complains. It doesn't matter..she is MISERABLE.
I had mentioned to my other friend that I would hate to be her H..she said to me..."you are married to 'our friend'". I never really equated my H to my friend..but it is so true. You can be perfect..and you will never be perfect. They need to figure this out on their own.
My H has fought this for years. He always tried to control his depression/moodiness with exercise and alcohol. I would only see the nasty H about 10% of the time. I think with the stress of his job..he just lost it. Nastiness became the 90%. He can't exercise like he needs to and he is drinking way too much alcohol each night. He is completely opposed to medication. They need to figure it out on their own. Painful to watch...absolutely. But as I said to you before..you are Charlie Brown's teacher....wahh wahhh wahhh. They don't hear you..their pain is real to them. As hard as it is...you need to worry about yourself right now..you need to take care of yourself and let him figure things out.
