As I mentioned in my post...you will know when you are done. I think DB'ing is a great thing but I think you also need to make sure that you aren't compromising yourself doing it. Part of DB'ing is making sure that you become stronger, and then if your H is ready to come back, you are ready for it. It is not OK if your H treats you like garbage..this is not making you stronger..this is breaking you down. You will lose yourself doing this. Has your H always pulled the gaslighting tricks with you? Continue to not let him get away with it. He needs to relearn what is acceptable and what is not acceptable..boundaries. Drunk or not.
Do not blame yourself if your H is not responding. An A is a powerful addiction. You cannot compete with it. It sounds like the A is not really over or hasn't been over long enough for your H to come out of that fog...especially an EA. I know it is difficult with children and you want to do things as a family..but perhaps distancing yourself from him will help you see things a bit clearer... and perhaps this will allow him to realize what he is missing.
