But you're such a self-soothing type of woman that you don't get sucked into mindreading...right
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Smacks H4L with 2x4 it's not the meds that are making him calm, they just help they don't miraculously do it for him, and you are now making it worth it for him to try harder to work with the benefits they give him!
Hope tomorrow goes ok you will be in my thoughts all day hun x
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
THanks for the supportive smack ladies - needed that. Wow I have a long way to go on PMA, don't I? lol
Well S5 is home sick with a cough and H is saying he can't risk getting sick (he's our main source of finances) and asked me what to do. I refuse to fix him anymore so I told him I could do the usual stuff to clean the house but the decision is his and I'm fine either way. DOn't know why he wants me to tell him what to do. I don't want to be blamed for anything so I don't make decisions for him anymore.
At risk of mindreading...lol...could be he's trying to avoid me too? Actually I'd be totally relieved to have H gone for the next few days. I wanted to make a nice night tonight - movie, drinks, etc for the two of us, and i will if he comes over. But actually avoiding each other is so much less risky....
Your changes have def. helped. He is keeping score and without your changes AND the meds he would not be able to put the efforts he is in now. H told you he realizes meds are helping his anxiety and anger outbursts? This is important communicationwise and also so he has a plan of self care for the future.
Maybe he feels guilty or scared about bombiversary. If he wants to proceed on side of caution, let him. You will have an easier job acting as if if he's not there acting as if NOT.
H4L, taking antidepressants is probably the best thing H could have done for our M when we still had a chance. We did MC but that didn't help the depression which was a major underlying issue in our M. Don't minimize the step that your H is taking by 1. acknowledging a problem 2. DOING something about the problem 3. doing something that WORKS!! And give yourself credit too: it could be the changes that you've made that make him WANT to make it work and WANT to try everything including meds. Before my H moved he said that that our M shouldn't be so bad that he had to take AD just to cope with it . See the difference??
Originally Posted By: rr22
Maybe he feels guilty or scared about bombiversary. If he wants to proceed on side of caution, let him. You will have an easier job acting as if if he's not there acting as if NOT.
Good point.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
OK, here's my 2x4 too. Maybe all your changes and awesome DBing gave him a reason to see what he could do on his end to get you guys out of this cycle? Or he could have been like, "Hey, Hope is being/doing everything I had always asked (berated) of her before but I'm still turning into a shrieking maniac--maybe it isn't her, but me after all..."
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
. See the difference??