Too Late For Us?

[rr22]

I have had the same experience you related in your post above and other similar ones after being busy or for some reason unavailable within a certain (short) length of time.

[rr22]

Actually rereading that earlier post of mine, I now realize that H was lying. Or that his opinion or fears have since changed. Why else the fear that something has happened to me or anxiety when I'm not immediately available now?

[mrbt]

So, I talked with my attorney today. Once I have signed the papers, the divorce could be final in a just a few days. I don't feel like I am ready for this. : (

[Number 8]

If you're not ready, then take some time. Think about yourself, too--not just about appeasing your W.

[dburt]

Is someone holding a gun to your head that you have to sign those papers now?

Burt

[mrbt]

Burt / 8:

I find myself in an impossible situation. Delaying the divorce only makes her angry and frustrated. Signing the papers results in a divorce that I do not want. It is really a no-win situation now.

I suppose there is a possibility that setting her free by signing the papers could cause a 180 on her part, but this seem highly unlikely. It's also possible that we could reconcile post-divorce a year or two from now. Do I really want to hang on for that long?

I think moving on is the only choice at this point. It's not what I want so I am having a very difficult time detaching. Especially since we live so close together (apartments int the same complex).

[Number 8]

I understand when you say it seems like an impossible situation. You have to feel so much pressure right now, and I'm sorry.

If you don't want to sign, then don't do it yet. I'm sure she'll be angry and frustrated, but is that the worst that can happen? NO! Take the time if you need it! You're worth it, whether she admits that now or not. Don't do this just so she won't be angry or frustrated. Your feelings matter, too. Don't forget that!

[ShockedOne]

You seem to have reached a point where you now need to take care of YOUR happiness. W has no respect for your happiness, you need to stop worrying about hers.

[mrbt]

Thanks 8.

Its not that I am concerned about her being angry. I am considering how my holding on makes her want run. I feel like I am playing Russian Roulette. I am thinking: "If the let her go by signing the papers, maybe, just maybe, she will feel differently once she knows she 100% free to choose." I don't know if I am thinking straight anymore. I have a counseling session on Thursday, maybe I will discuss this with the counselor first.

[Number 8]

I think it's a great idea to discuss it with the counselor first. Give yourself a few more days to think, and then get the counselor's point of view. That's an excellent plan.