feel like giving up - pt 2

[4luv]

Luv if that is what you want you have support either way I am sure. However, I don't think that is REALLY what you want. I don't think you want him out of your house really because you wouldn't still be DBing. I don't have any advice besides what ST wrote...what is your plan? What do YOU really WANT for your family?

[kara]

Luv

There is a lot I wish I could say to you but I won't. When you pray what guidance do you receive? How do you put that into action?

I don't expect you to reply to those questions. The answers are very private and they are your answers to keep.

Wishing you peace and blessings, Luv.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

luv, there have been many times that we have pointed out progress, but I feel that because you never believed them to be progress, you ultimately lead yourself into self prophesy.

Things need to happen within us. If we believe something won't happen, it usually won't, or the other way around, and the reason that happens is because when we believe or don't believe something in our hearts, it permeates the rest of us and it causes our behavior to be different and therefore we react towards others based on our belief within, which then causes either a positive or a negative reaction from them.

again, the thing about him saying he doesn't love you. he has said this before, and this is what they say. they ALL say it, and it doesn't matter.

I am glad that you are praying, but you cannot pray and just stand by watching, we must put our faith into action as well, and listen to what God wants us to do.

Kara had some good questions, think about that as well.

(((luv)))

[luvless]

Thanks Kara & Luv - I'll be thinking and praying about that.

Yesterday we finished up painting daughters room and he was still drinking more beer and passed out on the couch afterwards. I am still pretty sick so I just relaxed the rest of the day.

We went to dinner and he talked to the kids about where he wanted to go with them (he's been doing this consistently) he leaves me out. It used to really upset me now it just makes me mad.

So...here we go again another week in limbo land. I understand about self fulfilling prophecy - I am avid believer of it but I've been trying to be more positive and keeping faith when in reality any reconciliation seems so dim.


I know ST keeps telling me my H is behaving normally but wow I just keep asking myself can I get over what he's done and said? It's been 4 months and I can't imagine going through another 4 like this. I know he told his friend "time is near" so I feel I need to protect myself. I do not trust him he is very conniving. I mean look at what he pulled on Sat night? He wanted to sleep with me then he coldly wanted to go on the couch afterwards? he was just trying to pull me back in (F that)

Ok guys - keep talking to me please - my time is winding down here.

Luv

[flowmom]

Luvless, I have to say that it's really hard for me to read your thread. I haven't read the whole thing, so I don't know all the details.

I got the bomb dropped on me 6 days before you did, and now I have NO reason for hope or any indication that H cares about me as a wife or even as a human being (beyond what I can provide to his children as a mother). All of our interactions are transactional.

You are dealing with justifiable anger and desire to protect yourself and I can only imagine how hard that is. But do you know how much I wish to be in your shoes? It sounds like your choices and actions will directly affect the chance of reconciling in your M. I still want what I've always wanted: to give this my M best effort so that if it dissolves I know that I did everything I could to make it work, for myself and for my children. I hope that if I wasn't sure about the M, I would have the strength to do what I wish my H would do now...cope with my hurt and distress and bring my best self to trying to make it work.

[luvless]

FM - I just don't feel like I have a choice in this. I know my H is still here but he isn't "here" ya know?

I absolutely believe if the ow was single he would have moved out 3 months ago. I feel like everyone here is blaming me for this not working. I've stuck this out and I've tried some things and I haven't even gotten the slightest gesture that my H has any intentions of wanting this M.

He is unhappy and getting away from me will solve his unhappiness. That's where he's at right now.

You wish you were in my shoes? How is it better flow? my H still treats me like crap and it isn't any better than how your H has treated you

I hope a true gentleman steps into your life and treats you the way you deserve. Keep the faith it's all we have.

Luv

[talia]

Luv,
The darkest hour is just before the dawn...

[luvless]

(((Talia)))

thank you for that...

[flowmom]

I feel like everyone here is blaming me for this not working.

Just to be clear, I do not blame you. And I did live with a H who was "checked out" for a long time before we separated. It was very painful.

[luvless]

I know flow but I do feel like people think I haven't done enough DB'in and somehow it's my fault H hasn't turned around. He hasn't turned around because ow is still in the picture!

His gaslighting trick this weekend (although he was drunk) really confuses me though.

Oh well so be it in the life of a WAS.