I understand where you are coming from.....but they are into the self entitlement right now and family, especially children, are not their number one priority.

You are expecting an emotional, irrational person to step up to the plate and act like an adult. Can't happen and it won't, not for a very long time. Children/teenagers do not call home when they are away having way too much fun. Your h is a child right now and believe it or not, he's not in any emotional shape to help you because he can't help himself.

I feel for you and it breaks my heart that he's not there for his children. Unfortunately, you are going to have to be "both" parents for a while. He's got a lot of catching up to do and damage to repair, if and when he wakes up.

I'm very sorry he's acting this way.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.