flowmom | need to commit to myself

[newmama]

I'm also scared about being around newly single people as friends...I won't want to talk about separation/D with strangers. I especially don't want to talk to WAS...I just can't handle it right now.

You know something? I went to a few of the divorced/single parents groups dreading this same thing. What I found is that there were others who were separated and THEY told their story first. I didn't reveal too much and they didn't ask. Luckily 90% of our conversation had to do w/ usual stuff....NOT pity parties or our estranged spouses!

I'm very picky about people and that can be a barrier to me trying things. It's not that I'm snobby, it's just that I feel like I'm dying inside when I'm around people who are on a completely different wavelength than me. I suck at small talk, etc. I'm not an easy person to get to know...people who appreciate me typically start to appreciate me once they've known me for a long time.

How funny...I am very picky about people too but am EXCELLENT at small talk and getting others to talk but have always been a very private person with many walls. This is why I value my "old" WH so much- he is like one of 3 people who GET me!

But let me tell you this- on these handfuls of outings I have gone to (didn't post much about a couple of them) I force myself to just 1) show up then 2)introduce myself to anyone, not only those I think I could click with and then the rest has gone smoothly. Oh...I confess there has been beer or wine involved, lol!

Now as for the detachment issue...who can detach when they see their spouse every day or several days per week? I've given up on detaching 100%. I bet if you ever wanted to date that would do it. BUt otherwise...the emotional part will be there don't you think?