she doesn't need to know how many times a day you blow your nose, but you shoudl KNOW what you would WANT to know.
I like Dr Phil's advice
If you wouldn't do it when your spouse is there watching you, its cheating to do it behind their back.
So, don't do anything behind our wife's back that you wouldn't do in front of her...
No secrets.. that's the healthy way to go.
She likley feels like you have been hiding info.. Many spouses having affairs get paranoid.. its just something jung referred to as mirroring your own misbehaviour in others. In short, since SHE was straying, she immediately suspects you are too.
Don't challenge her, let her go through the phone all she wants... you are showing her an example of an adult by handing the phone over.
This is again much like a wild animal sniffing your ankle to find out of you are safe to be around... don't worry about it.. let her sniff at your ankles all she wants to.
Don't show anger, dont' be smug or laugh. Just wait til she's done and thank her when she returns the phone. Full disclosure of your acitvities is important to building trust.. and you are setting an example here.
THe more YOU turn over your materials with no challenge at all the mroe she sets HERSELF up to commit to the same thing later on.
Eventually you will ask her for her phone and do the same thing.. but right now let her learn how full disclosure and trust works just one-way.
She doens't realise it right now, but you are teaching her how SHE will behave later on... you are setting an excellent example for her.. keep it up.
