MLC, H and me

[courageous wife]

Just got off the phone with DB coach. When I meet with H about the finances...I am to think of it as a business meeting and act as such. She felt it was ok to mention the market analysis I had done on the house and have a copy of it. I am also supposed to get some numbers of what health ins would cost me on my own since I cannot get it thru work...just basically have the numbers all laid out for H for either path, divorce path or not divorce path and if he gets upset or defensive to say "I'm sorry, I understand this is upsetting, but this is the REALITY of where we will be" or something like that.

Sunday is grandson's birthday party and she said that we should make sure that H feels welcome. It will be the first family thing that he will have gone to since he left. I didn't know if I should avoid him or what. She thought that would be a good time to mention any difference/improvement in S14's actions since his meds will be different and that would be a good opportunity to ask him about getting together for a meeting.

She also thought that maybe H was more talkative after son's appt because he felt like he handled it and IHO maybe felt needed. She has said that from the beginning and still stands by that. It is just so hard to know what the heck because as I have found out on here and thru reading that a MLCer is trying to get away from all that RESPONSIBILTY. When he mentioned again to call if we need anything yesterday...maybe it is really what he wants is to feel needed...so frustrating! I WISH I was a mind reader!

So, I do have something that I could call him about but am scared! lol! When my brother changed the door knob/locks on the door for me, he found that the wood is getting rotten where it latches. Now that it has been so damp, the door must be swelling and we couldn't get the door to shut last night so tightend up the piece where the latch goes in and now it won't latch! This is beyond my skill level!!! Since he was so upset about the lock change...I'm thinking he is not the one to call! lol

I did call him this morning to tell him that I made the appt for the dog to have the lump looked at. Told him what time and he said thankyou. I thanked him for taking her. That was it! Boring I know but I did notice that he said "thankyou" and not thanks...it may seem weird to notice that but to me "thankyou" is more formal but it also seems more meaningful and appreciative than just saying "thanks"...probably doesn't mean squat but just noticed it...H is a "thanks" kinda guy!

Guess I am the jabberjaw today or am trying to avoid going back upstairs and finishing putting the primer on...over half done!