so things have been pretty awful at our house. I have 2 stepkids 15 and 16 and we have a 3 year old. She started bringing up divorce about 6 or 8 months ago and has been withdrawing. Of course like an idot I waited too long to get the book. Tried counseling and it was a horror show, it was a social worker and there were never any goals, we never knew what we were working on..so I stopped going. She repeatedly brings up going to a lawyer or mediator now, I keep stalling but am starting to think I can't stop this impending wave..the weight of it is crushing me.
In my mind she has been preparing our 3 year old for separation of parents by taking him alone, and then having me take him alone, we are never with the kid together except at dinner, even though we're in the same house. The older kids have done this drill before and although the boy seems to be clinging to me now, the girl could care less. She's already jaded to this process as the WAW has done this to them twice already.
I took my 3 year old to the boston garden to see a high school playoff hockey game (he loves hockey), his mom didn't want to go. So after the 1st period my little boy wanted to go home, I drove home in the pouring rain and she wasn't home. I had a very strong gut feeling to drive by her ex boyfriend's house, and the car was there, my heart just lept into my throat, I drove home and got the camera, came back and took some pictures, I was so mad I went and opened the door and walked right into his house and confronted them, they were fully clothed and "just talking"...she won't go to a real counselor with me, but she'll go talk to her ex without telling me. I feel betrayed and part of me wants to launch this turd..I'm really at the point where I just can't stand her, mostly because I think this thing can be saved and she won't bend. I've been doing the 180 and GAL for about 2 weeks now. It seemed to be working as she had stopped talking about divorce incessantly, but today she brought it up again. I just feel like maybe it's too late for my family and my little boy, and maybe I should just go get a lawyer. I've really had enough, it's exhausted. I know I should never have gone into his house, but I was furious. I wanted to knock his teeth out but figured if the cops got involved that would kill me in any custody thing.
Is it too late for this marriage? I want honest answers. We both have to work from home today, we hardly ever talk, and I want someone that loves me in my life. I feel like I am banging my head against this woman's brick wall. I have prayed for her, but as my dad says, nothing will change unless she changes..and she's most likely not going to change unless she has a burning bush moment.
Anyway, I can hardly sleep anymore and am exhausted stressed and emotionally this is very hard to take. I really just wanted my little boy to have an intact family like I had, but she doesn't have the same principles and beliefs. Has anybody ever saved their marriage that was this far gone? Sometimes I feel like this board gives false hope to people who are doomed..I hope that's not the case, I'm doing my best but I don't think the book understands what a stubborn ass this woman is.
