I dont know the right answer about her living with you. You can say that it does not affect you, but I dont know how you can block that out if you see her coming and going.
For me, it was a dignity thing. My W told me she was going to date other men and hit the night clubs. I could not help but notice her getting herself ready for her tramp nights out. It was too much and I told her 3 times in a short span that she was not to live under the same roof as myself if she was going to be dating other men. I used some reverse logic along with talking about my dignity/respect and she agreed that she would move out and live with a coworker.
However, she was so far gone as a mother at the time that the kids stayed with me. I believe she moved in with OM during that time and she had asked me if she could introduce (or test drive) the kids with him. I told her absolutely no way - it would send the wrong message to the kids who knew I was hoping to save our M. She introduced them anyway behind my back and it was through my kids that they told me that mommy was having a PA. I almost passed out upon hearing such details from my kids and about a month later I filed for a D.
BTW... I used the word "disgust" during the dark time in my situation.
And after filing, we were back on the fence and we delayed the D process for several months.
It sounds like yous W is still a great mother so I dont know if it is in your or the kids best interest to ask her to leave. Also, I dont think you should leave. But you dont want to live in a situation like in the movie "The War of the Roses".
It is great that you are getting 2nd legal advice.
