Struggling a bit more with it today. Actually not so much anxiety as the feeling of hopelessness... is this worth it, can I do this? etc.
But, I have noticed a pattern... I tend to begin to feel this way every Monday, struggle with it Tues. and Wed. and start to settle out by the weekend, usually feeling more connected to H by the weekend.
I think it is because when the A was happening, they were connected through H's work and it was during the work week that they had the most contact. H tried to spend as much time at home during the weekends as possible to stay connected to the kids. Then, when Monday's would come the fog would return and I would go through most of the week hardly seeing him and coping with anxiety of what was going on.
I have to self soothe and talk myself through the reality that this is not happening anymore. There are no more lunch time rendevous' and no more sneaky "I have to work late" scenarios. It is over. Monday is just Monday. It is ok.
I have an IC appt. tomorrow and likely will do more EMDR. Looking forward to it!
