flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

Life in your H's bubble may have brainwashed you into thinking more is possible than is and that more options exist than do or that the human body is capable of what it is not and now you go around beating yourself up over his unrealistic expectations that you have now internalized.

This is what I need to look at rr. Our MC kept harping on that we were "doing too much". I felt frustrated because I knew that but couldn't get H to communicate with me about problem-solving. Now I somehow need to clear the emotional slate of the past and open my eyes to my needs and my children's needs and figure out how to best meet them, with as few preconceptions as possible. No clue how to do that.

Who knows? I think you also need to be realistic about how "affirmed" H is ever going to feel about the money topic.

I have seen babysteps from expressing appreciation of H, I think. That is not going to make him OK with handing over his cash to me, but it's part of DBing right now.