No pursuing and no talking about your feelings please, observe reality, where is your wife right now? She is with another man. Someone she calls a "loser" but she is still with. Why do you think that is? She would still rather be with this "loser" than you, so regardless of what her description is of him, emotionally this guys does it for her and you don't. Her perception is that he has higher value than you do, if he didn't, she would be willing to work things out with you.
Talking about feelings, romantic gestures, pursuing, gifts, none of these things will work.
Observe the dynamic in place.
She is with another man, and you want her. You are alone, she doesn't want you. You are the backup plan just in case things don't work out with the "loser" boyfriend. She knows you aren't going anywhere, she enjoys her little chats with you because it makes her feel good to know that you're still waiting around for her, you boost her ego this way.
Start dating other women and watch what happens. When you start moving on, this is when she will notice that you aren't there for her forever.
Seriously 1.5 years of separation?! Your wife has a boyfriend for 4 months?! And you're still waiting for her to snap out her "fog"?!
Observe reality, follow reality: what you're doing isn't working.
