I want to contact him and let him know what my opinion is,
Don't do that!
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Should I be trying to deal with H in an effort to sway him (although I really don't think I could)??
NO!
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Am I putting too much on D13 by letting her make this decision???
I don't know why don't you ask her. I think it should be her decision. She can get input from her parents but it is for her to decide. And she should not be pitting one parent against the other.