How do I act?

[Surviving03]

the reason i havent gone home is because the military will not pay for me and my stuff to get sent back to the states without proper paperwork, and its paperwork that can only be done with him here. I could leave on my own but i would have to just trust that he would have my things sent to me and I dont feel that i can trust him with anything right now. Yeah it sucks, it definitely does, its harder than anything i have ever and may ever in the future experience. but I felt like if i wanted to fight for this marriage i had to be here. He will be home on thursday and we will see how it goes, but then when he leaves to go visit home for two more weeks i am supposed to be taking our anniversary cruise during that time with a friend. So i will have something to do... but again, more time away from him. I am beginning to discover that he is still telling friends that he is divorcing me and sounds like he is on a mission to party it up. He sent an email to his friend in Cali saying that he was gonna be somewhere between Vegas and San Diego "visiting one my boys from Iraq" now whether its really a boy or not i dont know, but if it is, i would be willing to bet his friend lives somewhere around there and was like hey come meet up and we go hit up Vegas. I also saw him post on someones facebook about getting drunk and partying with some people back home. I feel more and more like he must have been hanging around some single people in iraq who do what they want, buy whatever cars they want... and here we are fighting... so he decided I want that life instead. And its BS... here we are in a committed marriage after 2 years, he used to talk about nothing but starting and raising a family... and now he just wants to throw it away and do his own thing. This is BS! completely unfair... I really think he might file papers while he back home... I dont know when he plans on actually doing something about this D..so I would guess that would be when. And all the while I am sitting here waiting around. I do believe that if this is the scenario, that he got a glimpse of single life, that a point in time will come where he realizes it aint all its cracked up to be.. but where will i be when that happens?