Saturday morning W called, I didn’t answer. I sent her an email later asking what she wanted. She needed to talk to me about S8 and him living with me full time while she is in school. She then called 4 more times. I didn’t answer. She sent me an email asking me to pick up my phone. I replied I am more than happy to take S8 any night you need. “Smart” was the last thing she emailed.
I went shopping after that. While I was between stores W called me to say she was at our house getting the rest of her cloths. I told if she was going to be there I needed to be there too. When I got there she was pissed. I stayed cool, didn’t get upset. She kept saying how she tried to call me about this. I said you tried to call me about S8 schedule not this. I went about my business while she continued to pack. When she was done she sat on the couch and stared at me. I ask if she wanted to talk about something. She started to say how sorry she was, how I knew this was coming. I stayed cool and calm. Then she wanted to have sex. After some more VERY long conversation about sex and other R stuff we did it. I figured it would probably be the last time, so why not.
Some of the R talk involved her problem again with me having a girlfriend. I reassured I do not. She got upset because I changed my facebook status to single. Stupid I know.
Later W sent a text. “It felt good being with you again, U know”. I said Thanks. Saturday night she texted me again. She wanted to do sexting before she went to bed. I tried to but I’m not so good at it. Big hands small buttons, so we said goodnight.
Sunday night W came over to see S8. We played yatzee. After S8 went to bed she wanted to talk again. She told me I have to pick up papers at her lawyers office if I don’t want to be served. She said I have 30 days to sign or she gets everything she wants. I sat there for a while. Ok, I said. Again she said you new this was coming. We had a good time the last couple of days she said. She wants us to stay friends. She doesn’t want me to be angry with her. I told her I don’t how I’m going to feel. You are doing something a friend wouldn’t do. She kept staring at me. I asked her leave, but she kept pushing the please don’t be angry I want to stay friends crap. I started to tear up and asked her to leave and she did.
Later she called while I was on the phone with an old friend. W sent 2 text messages begging for me to answer my phone. I did and we had another long talk about the R. For the first time she talked about coming back. Not so much that she was thinking about doing it but she did say “if I came back” and “how could I come back when…”. Her big problems seem to be the fact she has left me three times now, what will other people think, we have done so much to hurt each other in the past…. I told her the same things I always do. I asked her if she was going to come back does she know what she would have to do. She knew she would have to change, but I get the feeling she is not ready yet.
The best part was she actually said we may start over again after we divorced. This is the first time she has gone this far. Is she on the fence now? I’m so confused, one second she’s telling me to pick up the papers the next she’s talking about getting back together. I asked why are going through all of this divorce stuff, spending money we don’t have, putting our selves through this process if we “might” get back together someday.
I can’t remember everything, so much was said. What a rollercoaster.
By the end of the conversation, because I couldn’t guarantee we would stay friends and I couldn’t guarantee the divorce process was going be easy for her, she got upset and said we should only talk about S8 from now on and anything else should be through or lawyers. I paused, said fine and goodnight. Later I texted her “goodbye ”. She replied the same.
This morning I get “I will always love and care about you. Bye.”
