You tell anyone who may apply any sorto f pressure on him...
Even OW can apply pressure if you for example went to HER WORKPLACE and humiliated her in public there... made a scene telling her to end her affair wtih your husband etc... it can be very effective.
Affairs, much like fire, survive on three ingredients :
1. Emotion 2. Sex 3. Secrets
If you take one of those away, the affair fizzles out.. it may take months after you take one of them away, but it will die.
Less than 1% of affair couples survives long term... most die out due to the same immaturity that gave them birth - children cannot make a long term relationship survive - this requires adult behaviour - and adults don't cheat
Right now he has this white picket fence fantasy in his head and OW does as well... the more reality you bring down on their head the quicker the affair ends.
Exposing to everyone forces that secret sexual fantasy into the cold light of day and it will start to turn bad... they always do.
Now, if all your friends and family are so immature as to cheer him on, then you have problems... Exposure is best offered to adults who will pressure him to stop acting like a 17 year old and stop hurting his family.
You want three points in the exposure
1. You want to save your marriage 2. Your H and OW are engaged in infidelity ( do not validate the infidelity by calling it a relationship - be sure to call a spade a spade ) 3. This affair is hurting you and your family and you want them to stop it asap.
Encourage your friends to confront him if they feel so obligated to do so.
If you can get two dozen people all whispering about them behind their backs and giving them funny looks. If you can get everyone to tell them they are not welcome in their homes anymore. If you can get everyone to ostracize them, the affair will have pressure on it without you having to do any direct attack on your H... this is the objective.
Are you sure he's alone where he is now? Very often spouses starting an affair will find an excuse to go on a business trip, or camping, or they insist they need to clear their head and they separate, et... but all they are really doing is having an affair ... they aren't resolving anything and are certainly not working.
How far does OW live from you?
Can someone find out if she has gone away for a while?
