How do I act?

[Surviving03]

i was really feeling like i could do this... i really thought i had what it took to hold it together and fight for my marriage... but i dont, i feel like i just cant do this...i feel like i want to get on a plane and get the hell out of here... this is unfair, i dont deserve this... now i think there is someone else, i saw a message he sent someone saying he was gonna be coming thru california to visit, there is nothing in cali...but maybe a girl.... i do not deserve this... i shouldnt have to make my husband love me! i deserve love and i dont deserve this.... i love him and i have been trying to better myself for this marriage and what is he doing? working on being single... we were happy, we were in love, we were planning on starting our family..... and he took that all away from me...