How do you forget....how do you turn off the love?

[ddstartingover]

I am doing really well with NC---and it does make things a lot easier and helps with detachment, however I know it is going to have to end. Yesterday was another day that started with me telling girls to get ready for pitching lessons and them both telling me that they didn't want to go. I did my usual, but the coach will be there, and it is paid for (didn't throw in how mad dad would be), and got them out the door. As they left I wondered why do I do this? Why do I always make them go---on my Sunday? they are gone from 11-2:30. It pretty much makes it so nothing else can happen........I originally agreed to this because H said this was the ONLY day the coach could do the lessons. I agreed to this because I was still wanting to make H happy at the time. The more days that I have to FORCE them to go, the more I think it is ridiculous to make them go.

When they came home, D13 was upset because dad told her she couldn't go out for track (practice starts tonight). She says he said she already has too much trouble keeping up with homework----AND she needs more time pitching. UGHHHHHHH...........I SO do not agree with this. I told her that going out for track was her decision. She has wanted to do this since she knew what track was. Wants to run the mile. I told her that it was my opinion that unless she shows us that she can't keep up with homework while going out for track, that she should go out for track if she wants......don't know what she decided. I'm sure she is weighing how pissed off dad will be.

I want to contact him and let him know what my opinion is, and why I think it important for her to go out for track (socialization, something other than SOFTBALL, and because it is something she REALLY wants to do). I know that if she decides to do track, and he learns that I gave my blessing, I will be to blame and receive another (more angry) e-mail about not supporting her "gift." Personally, I know she has A LOT of talent, and she has the skill......but is it a gift if we have to make her do it???? Is this really something that has to be done to raise the next Jenny Finch??? (not even saying she's on that level) Am I putting too much on D13 by letting her make this decision??? Should I be trying to deal with H in an effort to sway him (although I really don't think I could)??